Proceed to Party....

We woke up to a sunny day, perfect weather for pigs to be roasted on a spit. I'm not so sure the pigs would agree, and even though I've been to many, many pig roasts, it never fails to make me feel a bit sad and somewhat heathen-ish to spear an animal and cook it on a open flame.  Not sad and heathen-ish enough to not eat it, I mean, I'm no vegetarian.  There were also two turkeys, but one never feels quite as sad for them. 

Before:

The tables were laden with salads and side dishes and many desserts, both North American and traditional Slovenian. It was quite glorious, but I felt a bit too self conscience to take pictures. I didn't want them to think I had never seen tables of food before. The inner anxiety in me.  I went back more than once, however, feeling a bit like Oliver Twist.

I tried a new food item, a type of hand rolled sausage, I can't remember what it was called but it was a mixture of pork, beef and spices, almost like a meatball, but oval shaped. It was dipped in a hot sauce that was pronounced like it was called "iver" and I've since discovered (via google) that its called "Ajvar", a traditional Serb/Croatian/Slovenian sauce, made from roasted red peppers. Too hot for me, but everyone else loved it, even tiny little tots who could hardly walk were dipping and slurping and running around with red stained mouths and fingers.  This is a very traditional appetizer. I loved it, sans sauce.

Then the pig. First out were trays of cracklings. All the years of pig roasts in Wasa were the same...the cracklings are the part most looked forward to, and jostling and elbowing to get the best part is common. Myself, I don't like it, but there was no lack of takers. 

And then we ate. And ate. And ate some more.

And, as any one who has a European family will know, it didn't take long for the music to start.

Dancing was rampant, and I skittered away so as to not have to publicly dance. As a matter of fact, I went for a kayak tour of the bay, in a plastic sort of kayak that involved a bit of dance to keep it balanced. I didn't fall out or tip over  though, so I considered it a success even if half of the time was spent going in circles. 

The kids ran and swam and played until they dropped exhausted in their mamas arms, sticky from all the stolen sweets and stained red from all the ajver. The adults laughed and danced and sang, and told storied and jokes. The wine flowed freely.

And before we knew it, the sun was down and bed was calling. I think the younger folks partied until dawn and it made me remember all the Wasa pig roasts where we were the young ones who partied until dawn, and I know exactly how these days will be remembered in these young folks futures, and the stories they will tell. 

And that was the Slovenian Picnic.

The Little cabin by the Lake.

We had originally planned on bringing our motor home with us, since we knew we'd arrive Wednesday night. We planned on staying at a campground that night, and then parking by the little cabin at the lake for Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Our friend, who I'll just call Tony from now on, insisted we stay in the cabin, he had "lots of room" he insisted and plus, they were having a Slovenian picnic on Saturday and he wanted us to be there for that. Not massive, this year just 100 or so people. Of which 96 were going to be strangers to me. I would know Tony, his two brothers (who I haven't seen for 30 years...literally) and Steven. Big nervous sigh.

My dilemma is that I don't like crowds of people and I don't like staying in other people's houses. I'm not antisocial (yes, I am) and I want to pay my own way. I have a fear, a somewhat irrational fear, of inconveniencing people. I'd rather walk than ask for a ride, I'd rather do it myself than ask for help. Stupid? Yeah, probably, but that's who I am.  I was reassured by Tonys son that it was really no inconvenience at all, there is plenty of room in the cabin, just no hot water. 

 So, Suck it up, buttercup. We're staying in the cabin. Know what I mean, jellybean?

. We get to Ten Mile Lake, which is a beautiful provincial park, and beside the park gates I see what appears to be the park lodge and I'm wondering how I can manage to convince both Steven and Tony that will would be so much more convenient for us to just stay there, and to my happiness, we actually pull up to the lodge.

Except for just one thing. It's not the lodge. It's their little cabin. With plenty of space:

And a kitchen to die for:

Jeez Louise. What can I say? I think I can manage to sleep here without getting in anyone's way.

Four big bedroom suites upstairs, each with a loft (a loft!) and this view in the morning:

And this view at night:

And ummm yeah, plenty of hot water.

To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. It was gorgeous. There were a few other family members there, and they made us feel as if we totally belonged.  The one brother and his wife insisted on our going to their house for dinner and while I was mortified at intruding,and I tried really hard to politely refuse, it just didn't happen....my refusal that is, and we stayed and of course a wonderful time was had by all. I don't know why I have such concerns about being a bother.

The next morning more people arrived, some trailers and campers as well as some who were just in for the day. We didn't want to intrude on their annual get together so we decided to head up the road to historical Barkerville, 

It was only about an hours drive, and what a fun day it was. The weather was gorgeous and there were very few people there, so it felt reasonably authentic. Well, it is authentic, but it felt almost like being there. Well, we were there, but you know what I mean. And for those of you who have never heard of Barkerville, it's a preserved historic town from the days of the Gold rush, and it's the largest in North America. The "staff" who of course are all actors, roam the town going about their day and interacting with each other as if we were not there. It was like being plunked down into the past, much more realistic than our local Fort Steele, which I had always been impressed by. This was beyond impressive. It was like being a voyeur into their lives....the drunk in the bar, the blacksmith, the store owners. When any of the staff have to interact with the tourists, they do it as if we are literal visitors from the future. They ask us to put away our "picture taking devices" during the show, and to "silence those infernal talk machines" during meals. They point and whisper about the women's clothing (or lack thereof) and laugh at the men's hair. It sounds corny, but it played out really well.

There was the old Chinatown still there as well:

I got my knuckles rapped with a ruler in Chinese school for asking to leave early.

There were some tiny bakeries and restaurants, which of course we had to try:

And lots of sights that were just pretty:

And of course I insisted that we walk to the graveyard. I have an affinity for graveyards and I try to visit one wherever we go.

We went to the afternoon show while we were there, a sort of variety/comedy show in the old theatre. It's the same kind of thing that you find in every historical town,  but they're always so fun and the talent is always so astounding. No pictures allowed, but these are the old stage lights, and they still use candles in them. 

By now it was getting close to supper, so we headed back to the cabin where we met up with the three brothers who took us to town for dinner. Greek. I had moussaka and baklava, and as usual, over indulged. It was soooo good. Steven and I walked for a few miles through the provincial park and then headed back for a great nights sleep in the little cabin.

Tomorrow...a pig roast with 100 or so strangers. Eeeek!

What we did on our summer holidays.

What's that you say? Do I want to drive for 10 hours....sleep, drive for 7 more hours, sleep and then stay on a fishing boat for 5 days and then do the same thing on the way home? Thanks, but no thanks. Doesn't sound fun at all. And besides that, I've seen The Deadliest Catch. Not my forte. 

Come again? How big is the boat? What's that? There's a chef? Excuse me? I don't have to clean my own fish?  Well..maybe....

Second thoughts came quickly as the weather got grayer and grayer as we left Cranbrook. And it got rainier and rainier. For three hours we drove in a downpour that had me getting crankier and crankier. As I was seriously beginning to contemplate a demand to return home, the sun started to appear...it wasn't much, but there was hope. The clouds wound themselves around the hills like they were trying to anchor themselves and not leave, but they were forced to vanish as the sun persevered in shining.

I was feeling better now, and not worrying about hydro-planing right off of the highway and landing in a swamp, and the roads quickly dried up. By the time we got to Golden, the sky was blue and before we knew it we were in Revelstoke, where I spotted the elusive Tunnel-roof vehicle, apparently grazing for fresh food in the sunlight. I felt quite lucky to see such a rare creature.

Shortly after that we reached Kamloops and as soon as we turned North I was excited as I had never been this way before, and nothing is more fun than uncharted waters and new territory. Plus, before the trip we purchased our new best friend, Silicon Suzie, a Garmin GPS. The. Best. Invention. Ever. We flew down the highways and byways, typing in gas stations and Tim Hortons like we'd been doing it all our lives. We has also borrowed a cell phone from a friend, you know, "just in case", and it rang a few times but I couldn't figure out how to answer it. One new device at a time....baby steps, baby steps.

We drove to Williams Lake and decided to spend the night there, and I had previously Googled and found a sweet motel, reminiscent of the 50's...and you all know how I love the 50's! Why on earth would anyone ever stay at a Sandman or any chain hotel when there are still these cozy and fantastic little independent motels. When I win my lottery, I'm gonna buy one of these:

And travel across North America and stay in roadside motels.

But I digress.

For tonight we stayed here:

We had our own little sun deck:

And a lovely little yard:

And we went for Chinese food:

And I was happy. New adventures, full belly, and a Tim Hortons on the corner.

The next morning was warm, and I think there were no clouds, but the smoke from the forest fires made it hard to tell. The sun was blood red and it seemed like twilight. It was odd because the night before was clear and bright. The smoke was gone in a few hours, but it was a rather creepy sight.

We drove to Quesnel where we managed to figure out the portable speaking device and called our friend, who owns the little boat we were going (gulp) fishing on for 5 days. He also has a nice little cabin at Ten Mile Lake that he generously offered us a bedroom in.  Prior to this though, he wanted us to come and see his lumber mill. 

I didn't have the address of the mill, but he told us how to get there, saying that we couldn't possibly miss it, but it wouldn't be a road trip for us if we didn't get lost or miss a turn, and needless to say, we did, but it wasn't a bad "miles out of the way" error, just a 15 minute delay. In no time at all, I was hugging my friend and touring his mill. If I ever have to work again, I want to work for him....at that mill.

Clean? Happy employees? Modernized? One of, if not the, safest mill in Canada....100% in all categories. I found the tour fascinating, and I know nothing about mills. Steven was so impressed.

Fish pond.

With fish.

I'd eat my lunch here every day.

Unless I decided to get in a bit of exercise...treadmills, cycles, a racquetball court....really?

Even the gas pumps were enjoyable.

And you'll notice that the entire yard is paved, which apparently is unheard of. And not a piece of lumber out of place.

Inside, I forget what this was called, but I liked it because it reminded me of liquorice all-sorts.

Then, so that we could get a proper view of it all, he took us up in the helicopter  for a birds eye view, we saw the mill and also watched some black bears cruising along the river bank. 

And if that wasn't enough, it was a catered BBQ day for the employees. A two day event so that every worker on every shift got to have a meal...steaks, chicken, salads, desserts, the full meal deal. Steven even ran into, and sat with an old hunting buddy who he hadn't seen in years. Seriously? Does he know everyone?

What an amazing day. New sights, new adventures. Now off to the little cabin for a restful nights sleep. More tales tomorrow....g'nite.

Phone Woes.

So I had to phone Telus. We came home from holidays and before we got home we had to stop at a grocery store and get cream for coffee the next day. Safeway was closed because there was a power outage. That was stressful enough.....not knowing if I was gonna be able to get cream for coffee. When I wake up all I can focus on is coffee...coffee..... I have tunnel vision and this is what I see:

But I digress. We came home, did a bit of unpacking and I decided to download my pictures, only to see that there was no Internet. Hmmm, I figured the power outage must have blown a transformer or something. I don't know if today's technology even has transformers, or what they are, but no big deal. A few hours later I thought that perhaps I'd just give Telus a call....just to make sure it wasn't a computer problem that was solely mine because I have been known to screw up a computer now and then. I felt hopefull for a quick result. I felt like this:

Imagine my dismay when I picked up the cordless phone only to find it dead. Imagine my further delay when I picked up the landline to find it dead too. And imagine the sinking feeling I had when I went to the three neighbors who also have Telus only to find out that they were all away. Away on a long weekend...what nerve. I asked a Shaw neighbor, and a Bell neighbor if they had service, and they all did. One neighbor said "Oh, Telus was doing something in that underground box on the corner of your lot...laying Telus fiber optic cables." I coud feel my facial expression do this:

So. Our phone showed no calls since August 22. Now it's Aug 31. Tomorrow is a stat holiday, I may not have phone or Internet for a few days yet. I know that people have been trying to call us, and might be worried. I'm starting to feel like this:

We decide to go for a walk and one block up the street what do we see? A Telus truck! With a Telus man! Maybe we will get some help. I walk over and ask him if I can run my Telus problem by him, and he reluctantly agrees. I tell the story and he quickly interrupts me to announce that it wasn't them, couldn't be them, they have nothing to do with house lines. I mention that it just seems odd that Telus guys were laying Telus lines in the Telus box on my corner and we now we have no Telus service. Am I right?? Apparently not. He vehemently disagreed. 

"Well", I sighed, "do you have a work phone I can use so that I can at least call and get a repairman?"

I was a bit stunned at his reply. "No" he says "I wouldn't even know who to call anyhow"  "Oh." I said, and added somewhat sarcastically: "Its just that you're in a truck that says Telus Service Provider on the side, so I sort of assumed you might provide some Telus service. Whatever."  And off we go. 

However...hoorah! I see the neighbors pull in...the telus neighbors. They quickly check their phone and wifi and...and....and....they have service. So it's only us. They let me use their phone to call the repair line. In a nutshell, this is how it went:

 I dialed all the numbers and hit all the appropriated numbers and listened to all the menu choices and eventually a man answers and introduces himself as "Lord. L-O-R-D"  "Holy shit" I thought to myself, "Talk about outsourcing."

Alas, once I heard the accent I realized I was merely outsourced to India.

I explained what was wrong. 

Lord said "Yes, I think we can help you with that. Let me run some diagnostics" He returned to say that there were no outages and that everything seemed fine."

Me:" Well, I don't know what to tell you except it isn't fine.".

Lord: "Oooohh...but I hear it ring."

Me: "I know. I phoned my house with a cell phone. I hear a ring too,  but I don't know where the ring is because it isn't ringing here."

Lord: "Let me run some diagnostics. Can I call you back should we be disconnected?"

Me: "Uhhhh....no. I have no phone service. You know, thus this phone call?"

Lord: "OK. What is your cell phone number?"

Me: "I don't actually have one."

Lord: "OK, but what is the number?"

Me: "You don't understand. I don't have one."

Lord: "OK, but you just give me the number please?"

Me: "We've  borrowed one, but it's all out of minutes, so you can't call me on it."

Lord: "Ok, good. Give me the number please?"

Me: "Oh. My. God. 250-489-1235

Lord: "Oh thank you. I will be right back."

~~a few minutes go by as I stand under a tree mumbling under my breath~~

Lord returns. He says the diagnostics still show no problem, so he wants "us" to do the following. I'm to unplug all the portables, the landline and then the computer and then replug it all in again one by one and he will watch the diagnostics and it will hopefully show where the problem lies.

So now I'm getting really cranky. 

Me: "Listen Lord. That won't work. I'm at the neighbors. Their phone won't work in my house. I'm sure not about to run over, unplug a phone, run back here, wait for you, run back and unplug the next one again and again and again. I need a repairman to come here."

Lord: "You can use the cell phone."

Me: "I. Don't. Have. One."

Lord: "Isnt anyone at the house?"

Me: "My husband. But wait...I'm not going to play a relay game where he runs up and down stairs and shouts out instructions to me and then me to you and so on. I need a repairman"

Lord: "Well. I can get you one for Friday."

Me: (in a bit of a hysterical shriek) "This is SUNDAY. I can't wait until FRIDAY. I was actually thinking tonight. Friday is totally unacceptable!" 

Now I'm feeling like this:

Lord does some secret Lord work as I seeth, and he returns with the news that someone will arrive tomorrow, between 8 and 5. They will phone 15 minutes before they show. I laugh in a bit of a crazed manner.

Me: "They can't phone...the phones are not working. They don't work!!!"

Silence from Lord. Then  I hear him in a firm voice:

"They must phone 15 minutes before they arrive"

I'm short of breath now, and it's possible that blood vessels are bursting in my head, and I say one more time, teeth gritted, jaws clenched: 

"The phones don't work. They can't phone me. I will be home. I will wait here all day. Someone will be here all day. I will not be able to hear the phone ring. It doesn't work. You make sure that they know that.  We will be home."

Lord: "They will call on the cell phone."

And Lord adds: "If your phones miraculously start to work and you don't call us and the service technician shows up, you will be charged for a service call."

I was actually stunned into silence at this comment.  

Lord, in a happy, chipper voice:"Is there anything else we can help you with today?"

Me: "I guess not,"

Lord: "Thank you for dealing with Telus then.  Have a nice day."

Me:

And as a follow up, the next morning the Telus Man showed up (and he did mention he phoned first, but then he read the note to appear anyhow. Thank you Lord. And I mean the Indian Lord.)

And I was smugly happy to find out that the earlier Telus Man had indeed disconnected our house line and failed to reconnect. Almost two weeks ago. So today's chore is to phone Telus and get some sort of restitution. It will be a miracle if they make me happy. I wonder if I should ask for Lord?

Things that annoy me that really shouldn't.

It annoys me when people are asked what their proudest moment is and the reply is "the day my children were born." 

Stop it. That might be your happiest day, and that is completely understandable, but proudest? Do you know what "proud" means?

    1."Feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated."

And....

1. 2.

   having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance.

   "a proud, arrogant man"

   
   

   Because really, pretty much anyone can have a baby....it doesn't take skill or smarts or hard work. When I ask you what's the proudest moment of your life, I expect to hear of something you worked hard for, studied for, strived for, something you dreamed of and acheived, not a bodily function. Besides, everyone says its the birth of their kids....come on folks, show some originality

   
   

   That's just my pet peeve though.

   
   

   Another thing that annoys me is when people race to Facebook to report the death of a famous person,  and send "prayers and thoughts" to the family. Why would you put that on your Facebook wall? Do you think the rest of us actually care that you sent  your thoughts to a family that you don't know? Send it to them, not to us. Put it on their Twitter or Facebook or website. Having said that though, I know I don't have to read your Facebook wall anyhow, so I'm being a bit hypocritical since I also don't like it when people say about others people's comments "hmph...that offends me."  I want to say stuff even more offensive then, just to annoy you even more. But still....did you really send your prayers and thoughts? And did it make a difference? 

   Or did you just think it sounded good? And why are you telling me anyhow? To see how many "likes" you get? 

   
   

   That's my Friday rant. So have a little sitdown and think of your proudest moment. Getting a degree after years of hard work? Very cool. Getting to the top of that mountain? You rock! Starting your own business? Losing that weight that's been bothering you? Learning a new language? I want to hear those amazing accomplishments, and to praise you for them. 

   
   

   Mine? Quitting smoking after over twenty years. It's been almost 17 years since I've smoked and I am damn proud of that.

   
   

   Happiest day? Most memorable day? The birth of my boys.  ❤

What IS IT??

So, this morning in the mail there was a promo thing from the newest car dealership in town, Mitsubishi. These kinds of things are always being left in our mailbox....match numbers or symbols and you've found yourself the winner of cruises, big money, cars and/or other amazing prizes. 

(In tiny print below, you are reassured that you have won something, but it's more than likely a free carpet cleaning, a tour of a timeshare, or $500 off the price of your new car, when you happily purchase it)

But this one was different, not in the sense that I thought I'd won anything, but in the sense that it wasn't a scratch or pull-tab. It was an odd plastic box. It had a piece  of cellophane that you pulled out to "activate" it, and numbers apparently light up...oohhhhh....that's kind of appealing and fun....so I pulled the plastic out. And sure enough...numbers lit up. I was childishly and gleefully amused at the way today's technology works. And how cheap it must be, to just send out thousands of these to nameless people. 

So I enjoyed looking at it for 7 or 8 seconds and then threw it in the garbage.

About 4 hours later, I thought to myself: "You know, this was probably made in some third world country, and it's some cheaply made battery. So...what if...just what if....it somehow sparks and sets my garbage on fire. And my house burns down. Because I don't really understand how batteries work, so it's obviously a possibility. Because you read about these freaky things happening now and then, and the victim always says "I never would have thought something this crazy could ever happen to me."

So I looked in my garbage can, and the thing was glowing brighter than ever. A little creepy.

We are leaving town for two days tomorrow and I didn't want this thing glowing and igniting while we were away, so I dropped in in the sink and went about my way.

I came back a few hours later...only to find it still glowing, even after being submerged all this time. I think it was smirking at me. And what's more....different numbers were glowing.....

Now  I'm thinking that it just might be a Transformer!!  Secretly transforming in my sink! And the different numbers meant it was calling others!

Just because it was attached to a flyer that said Mitsubishi doesn't really mean that it's from Mitsubishi

At this point I'm a bit concerned. If water doesn't kill it, then I obviously can't put it back in the garbage because now it will surely spark or short out or transform or do whatever electronics do when you try to kill them.

So I decided I'd better beat the shit out of it with a wooden hammer. (Yes, a wooden hammer, never mind, that's another story for another day.)

I hammered it really hard. More than once. Not only does the plastic seem to be indestructible, the numbers won't stop glowing. They won't  stop glowing.

As a matter of fact, they seem a bit brighter.

I think I might have heard a faint squeal of pain with that last beat of the hammer, the screen seems to have moved off...ummm, a little bit like skin being torn away...and glowing...still glowing....

I hear my microwave beeping, I think my washing machine is creeping across the basement floor, the toaster is making noises. I think I've started an invasion....