What IS IT??

So, this morning in the mail there was a promo thing from the newest car dealership in town, Mitsubishi. These kinds of things are always being left in our mailbox....match numbers or symbols and you've found yourself the winner of cruises, big money, cars and/or other amazing prizes. 

(In tiny print below, you are reassured that you have won something, but it's more than likely a free carpet cleaning, a tour of a timeshare, or $500 off the price of your new car, when you happily purchase it)

But this one was different, not in the sense that I thought I'd won anything, but in the sense that it wasn't a scratch or pull-tab. It was an odd plastic box. It had a piece  of cellophane that you pulled out to "activate" it, and numbers apparently light up...oohhhhh....that's kind of appealing and fun....so I pulled the plastic out. And sure enough...numbers lit up. I was childishly and gleefully amused at the way today's technology works. And how cheap it must be, to just send out thousands of these to nameless people. 

So I enjoyed looking at it for 7 or 8 seconds and then threw it in the garbage.

About 4 hours later, I thought to myself: "You know, this was probably made in some third world country, and it's some cheaply made battery. So...what if...just what if....it somehow sparks and sets my garbage on fire. And my house burns down. Because I don't really understand how batteries work, so it's obviously a possibility. Because you read about these freaky things happening now and then, and the victim always says "I never would have thought something this crazy could ever happen to me."

So I looked in my garbage can, and the thing was glowing brighter than ever. A little creepy.

We are leaving town for two days tomorrow and I didn't want this thing glowing and igniting while we were away, so I dropped in in the sink and went about my way.

I came back a few hours later...only to find it still glowing, even after being submerged all this time. I think it was smirking at me. And what's more....different numbers were glowing.....

Now  I'm thinking that it just might be a Transformer!!  Secretly transforming in my sink! And the different numbers meant it was calling others!

Just because it was attached to a flyer that said Mitsubishi doesn't really mean that it's from Mitsubishi

At this point I'm a bit concerned. If water doesn't kill it, then I obviously can't put it back in the garbage because now it will surely spark or short out or transform or do whatever electronics do when you try to kill them.

So I decided I'd better beat the shit out of it with a wooden hammer. (Yes, a wooden hammer, never mind, that's another story for another day.)

I hammered it really hard. More than once. Not only does the plastic seem to be indestructible, the numbers won't stop glowing. They won't  stop glowing.

As a matter of fact, they seem a bit brighter.

I think I might have heard a faint squeal of pain with that last beat of the hammer, the screen seems to have moved off...ummm, a little bit like skin being torn away...and glowing...still glowing....

I hear my microwave beeping, I think my washing machine is creeping across the basement floor, the toaster is making noises. I think I've started an invasion....