Well, I'll be darned.

 Today is my birthday, so of course it makes me think of my mum. It's been years since my mum died. 18 years as a matter of fact. I can still hardly talk about her without welling up with tears. I can say things like "Oh, my mum used to do that/enjoy that/sing that....", and I'm fine, but I can't actually discuss her in anything longer than a sentence without becoming extremely emotional. I had always thought that eventually the pain would fade away, but holy cow, not in the least. So, rather than cry in front of people (eeeeek! A huge fear for us introverts!) I generally try to not talk about her too much.

But because I want her memory to live on, I feel the need to tell little stories and anecdotes about her, and writing them down is the easiest way. 

She was a minimalist before the term was ever bandied around like it is nowadays. Partially because we moved so often that it was near impossible to be any sort of collector at all, and the less you have the easier it is to pack up and move, and partially because she was just not very attached to "things".  She had a few ornaments that were special to her...a pair of ceramic ladies on horses that were a gift to her mum on her wedding day, some pieces of jewelry that were also her mothers, and a pair of cufflinks and a tie pin that her dad wore on his wedding day...that sort of thing. 

She did have a collection of books, not a whole lot, she was one of those people who would re-read a favorite book over and over. I didn't inherit that from her....I very seldom re-read a book. However, everywhere we moved to, my dad would build her bookshelves to display them in....built-in to fit whatever kind of a house we were stationed in, and she would add a few more, but mostly we were library folk. 

For someone who was a photographer by profession she didn't even have many photos stashed away. A few small albums of me growing up, some wedding pics of her and my dad and a few from her Airforce days.

So, after she died, there was very little to go through and to have to get rid of. I mean, all the furniture and that sort of stuff was still going to be in use by my dad, so it was only her personal items, and she didn't have a lot. It was still horribly painful to go through her clothes and to decide what I wanted to keep....some belts and scarves, a spring jacket, a few ornaments that my dad asked me if I wanted, all her awesome and eclectic jewelry and that's about it. Like I say, the other items were all things my dad would continue to use. I'll bet it didn't take me two hours.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, after my dad died, 10 years after my mum, amongst his things was a small silver box with "Ruth" written on it. I opened it once, probably 10 years ago, and quickly glanced through a few pictures, what appeared to be some cards (Birthday and Mothers Day cards from me over the years, I was actually surprised she even saved those... as I say, she was not into sentimental savings) It just made me too sad to look, so I just put it away.

However, today I was thinking, and I was pretty sure I had seen this in there....went searching, and sure enough, my birth announcement and hospital wrist band. Awwwwww......kinda means even more to me since I know it must have meant a lot to her.

It's a what?

Today I saw an ad for a Golden Doodle, for $950. "Wow", you say, "Is that a golden cheese doodle? An odd item for sure, but hey, gold is pretty pricey, and whatever floats your boat."

No. I mean a mixed breed dog. A mongrel. A mutt. But give it a fancy name and "Boom!" You now own a designer dog....worth mega-bucks.

My friend, let me explain,a fancy hyphenated name does not turn a mongrel into a purebred. But give a cute puppy a cute name and someone will pay big bucks.

It seems to mostly be oodles of poodles. Labradoodles, golden doodles and schnoodles, just for a start. Then there the oodles of poodles crossed with smaller dogs; malti-poo, cockapoo, Yorki-poo, , peke-a-poo.

....I don't know where it ends. Nor do I know how to spell the names, mostly because there is no official spelling because there is no real breed.  They are made up! I want to cross an Elkhound with a poodle and tell people my dog is elk poo.  That might make it funny, but it doesn't make it a breed. Would you spend $500 on Elk Poo? No? But on a Golden Doodle? Yes, please. Ai-yi-yi....

Here's a fun fact: These dogs have no breeding standards nor any standardized breeding records, no clubs, and no plan for any of that in the future. Which means, no AKC acceptance letters. So....what's the point? Why go to a pet store, or a back yard breeder or a stranger on the Internet and pay huge dollars when you can simply go to your local SPCA or animal shelter and find something that is just as adorable, just as loving, and SO much cheaper and will (most likely) have its shots and spaying/neutering all done? Plus, you are giving a dog a home.

Now, before you tell me that there are designer registries, let me tell you that those so-called registries are just as made up as the designer cross between a Bull Dog and a Shitztu....in other words, Bull-Shit. They are just fueling mill breeding and fooling the public into thinking they are getting a legitimate breed of dog, and a high quality dog. They say when you mix breeds deliberately to get the best qualities of each, you will get an exceptional dog. Well, they know the same as the designer cross between a Jack Russell and a Shitzu....in otherwords, jack-shit. You can easily end up with a dog that has the worst of both breeds, so their statement is pointless.

So you might get this...a "Canardly". As in "I can hardly tell what she is."

Or, you might luck out and get this: a bull pug. 

Or this: a pitsky. (Pitty-husky)

Now, most of today's purebred dogs were indeed developed from careful combing of different breeds for specific purposes, and there have been amazing results. But we are talking about many decades of careful work, and to deliberately market a "breed" to an unknowing consumer who may not realize that spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a mongrel is inexcusable. 

I don't want to offend those of you who own these designer dogs, but come on, your local shelter is filled with these "designer dogs" that are desperate for a home. Go and pick your pet and give it a designer name of your own.

My favorites:

Collie and Lhasa Apso: a Collapso.....- dog that falls down a lot.

Collie and a Malamute: a Commute. Take this dog to work.

Malamute and Dalmation:  a Mutation....a homely dog.

A pointer and a Setter: Pointsetter, good for an Xmas gift.

Bloodhound and Labrador: a Blabrador...a dog that talks too much.

Deerhound and any Terrier: a Derrière...a dog that sits all the time

Keeshond and any Setter: a Keester. Gets along well with Derrières.

Chihuahua and Whippet: a Chiapet. Order them from TV, 3 for $19.99 plus shipping,

And we mustn't forget:

Cocker Spaniel and a Rottweiler: .....well,  a CockRot. (A good gift for a philandering ex)

How about a Cocker Spaniel and a Maltese Terrier? Figure it that one out yourself.

.

(I've heard these over the years...I can't take credit for making them all up, even though I'd like to.)

So dont brag to me about your designer multi-named dog that you take for walks with your designer duds and designer coffee cups. Instead, show me that you genuinely care, and get your adorable mixed-mutt from a shelter.