South Africa #49

We finally arrived in Calgary.  Now, earlier, waaay earlier back in Johannesburg when we checked in, we asked where we were to get our luggage; Calgary? (point of entry into Canada) or Cranbrook? (which of course was our final destination.) Half of us were told Calgary, because we’d have to clear customs and immigration there, which makes perfect sense, but the other half of us were specifically told that our luggage would be sent all the way to our final stop, which was Cranbrook, and that “No” we did not have to get it in Calgary. Which seemed odd, because,  customs?

All of us were given luggage claims which had “Cranbrook” on them. And none of us really cared at this point. It would all work out. 

So we arrived in Calgary and had to go to the automated machines to do our declarations. These are so much easier than trying to fill out those god awful forms that they used to give you on the plane, where you could never find a pen, and then always “ticked” the wrong box, and the flight attendant had no more forms, and turbulence made everything illegible, I’m surprised more people didn't up being arrested at the gates. Except some of the forms kept coming out totally blank. So that took forever to get straightened out.

Anyhow, these ones are so simple to fill out, and I checked off a “yes” to the question about “meat, seeds, nuts and coffee”. And got in line. And this is where it all went sideways.

As I waited for my turn to show my passport and customs form to the guard, an employee looked at our forms and sent us in various directions. Some went right through, some went left and vanished somewhere, and some went right and vanished in a different hallway or room. Some of us waited in line. No one, including the employee, seemed to know what was going on. Some of us were told to go to baggage and get our suitcases, and some were told (in a snotty manner, that “your claim check says Cranbrook, so you pick it up in Cranbrook) Everyone of us seemed to be wandering around in a different area. We had tried to explain that we were all catching the same plane to the same city, but that didn't seem to matter. We were scattered to the wind.

Finally it was my turn, and the guard asked me why I had checked “yes” and I told him I had coffee and some jerky. He asked what kind of jerky and I told him “Ostrich.” He looked confused and started looking it up, and I think it took him at least 10 minutes, and he eventually said I couldn’t bring it in. Ugh. So I started scrabbling through my carry-on, of course now I’m sweaty and annoyed and trying to hurry because the line-up behind me is getting longer and impatient. When I finally hauled it triumphantly out, it wasn’t ostrich at all, it was gemsbok. So now he had to look that up, and of course I couldn’t bring that through either, so I tossed it in the garbage. Dammit. He asked if I did indeed have ostrich as well, and I said “No”, even though I was pretty darned sure I did. He asked if I had any other jerky in my checked luggage and I said “No” even though I was pretty darned sure I did. He waved me though, and as I was walking in the direction that at least some of my people had gone, a different woman hollered and told me to “go this way”, so I did, opening a set of doors and going though, but only after I asked her if this was the way to the departure area and she said yes.

As soon as the doors shut, and I saw absolutely no one, and a single lone elevator, I was pretty sure I was in the wrong area. I turned right around, went back in and asked if I could go the other way since  this didn't seem right. She said “Nope” because by now I have left the secure area and wasn’t allowed back in. Well, fuck me. 

So I went back to the elevator and took it up to the only other floor that it went to and I was apparently transported to some unknown area of the airport because the sign said it was a 9 minute walk to the terminal I wanted. Not even the gate, but just the terminal. So I walked and walked and walked and eventually came to an area where I saw one of the airport Helpers, who told me that my departure gate was still about a 10 minute walk, but the baggage area was “right through that door” and since that was where I was supposed to meet up with my travel peeps, I started to go through, but I had a flash of genius and asked her if I’d have to go all the way back through security to get to my gate if I went through this door to the baggage. And she said “yes”. Ugh. That was not gonna happen. So I trudged towards my gate, disheveled and annoyed, hoping that my luggage would turn up in Cranbrook. (I had decided to check my small carry-on so that I wouldn’t have to haul it around all three airports...J-burg, Amsterdam and Calgary.) I figured the rest of my group would find their way to the terminal on their own.

I eventually saw my gate and some familiar faces! They had all had “adventures” of their own. One had to go and actually get their checked suitcase to show a leather skin they had bought, 2 were sent to baggage to get their luggage (with strict instructions to make sure they got it because it was not) going to be sent to Cranbrook (and the luggage didn't show up at the Calgary baggage carousel because it was sent to Cranbrook), two others were sent though a door for no reason and had to go all the way back through security because the employee had sent them out of the secure zone (same as me, but through a different door). Two others were send down a hallway where they ended up outside and had to go back through the Nexus line and one lone person appeared just walking down the hallway, not sure where they had even been. It was a shit show. Every one of us had been told different things by various airport employees. Get your shit together YYC.

Finally, our plane was called and we went to our gate. Which was down a cement hallway with no heat and not nearly enough chairs. WTF? It was like being in a garage. And we waited....the plane was delayed.....and we waited, and it was delayed again.....finally it arrived and we got on ...and waited....and then it was announced that we had to get off because there was a mechanical issue....back into the freezing cement area....waited some more (and remember, none of us had winter jackets with us either) for a new plane. The new plane arrives, but couldn’t “pull in” because another plane was in the way....waited some more and the plane that was in the way left, but our “old” plane was apparently fixed so we got back on it, and by this time I was perfectly ok with flying on a broken plane. We had been up for almost 50 hours and were tired and hungry. But the plane took off, and arrived in Cranbrook safely, along with everyone’s luggage and my own bed never looked so good. 

(Temporary Backup) (Temporary Backup) South Africa #48

After the Kruger game drive we headed back to our lodge for our final dinner in South Africa. Tomorrow we start the long trek home. I wish I could stay longer, it is a truly amazing country. I’ll do a synopsis once I finish up with the trip notes.

Our final dinner was another buffet, with kudu sausages. I’ve  eaten quite a bit of local meats, but nothing really unusual....no bugs or creepy creatures, just ostrich, wildebeest, springbok, kudu and impala. And cheese.....so, so much cheese! I did bring home some tinned pate though....impala, zebra and crocodile,  anxious to try them!

After dinner we watched some local dancers perform, and they were really, really good. We all had to get up and dance with for a bit, that was sort of cheesy, I don’t enjoy “interactive” cultural events. 

Next morning we were up and on the road by 8 AM. It’s a looooong drive to Johannesburg and it’s a gray and drizzly day, good for travelling. There were a few areas where the fog was so thick that you couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead, it made me nervous, but luckily it didn’t last too long. There was one scary moment when a little white car came zooming out of an intersection and came within inches of t-boning the bus. If our driver hadn’t been on the ball and such an awesome driver, it could have been a bad situation. He had to swerve so strongly that all sorts of things came flying out of the overhead, and people were almost flung into the aisle. I’m surprised the the bus didn't tip. Whew, and thumbs up to our driver. 

We stopped at Alzu for a break, and saw these:

So while I didn't see “The Big Five” all in one place (Kruger), at least I did see them. In case you’ve forgotten, The Big Five are: lion, leopard, elephant, Cape buffalo and rhinos. There is also now The Ugly Five, which we also saw: Hyenas, warthogs, vultures, wildebeests and marabou storks. Personally, I wasn’t concerned about seeing anything in particular, other than I would have been disappointed if I didn’t see giraffes, zebras and hyenas....probably some of the most common animals, but my favourites by far. I was more than happy with all the wildlife that crossed my path. A Dazzle of Zebras....how can that not be magical?

We got to Johannesburg by about 2 PM and our flight didn’t leave until midnight. Everyone was truly dreading 10 hours of staring at each other when our driver almost causally mentioned that there was motel/lodge that we could stay at, for no charge, with showers and a pool and all we would have to pay was a small bit for a shuttle to the airport. Yes, please! 

We had a huge sitting area to ourselves, the pool was wonderful and there were hammocks and shady areas to sit and relax. Also a vending machine with beer, wine and soft drinks. It was amazing and so much nicer than sitting in an airport for 10 hours. 





Eventually we took the shuttle to the airport, about a 17 minute drive and checked out the frenzy and excitement of the returning World Rugby Champs who were arriving momentarily. The airport was filled with screaming fans, TV cameras, the whole bit. The air was electric and it was mayhem. Fun to see for the little bit of time we were there, but oh my God, if we had had to spend 10 hours there it would have been horrible. The crowds had started to arrive first thing in the morning. The only good thing was, the line-ups in security were almost nonexistent.

And before long were were on the 11 hour flight to Amsterdam. After what seemed to be the full 11 hours, I was saddened to see that we were hardly half way there, just over the Sahara desert.

Eventually we landed, and while we only had a couple of hours in the airport and we were tired and disheveled and looked a hot mess, a few of us decided to have a nice cuppa. I imagine even a fancy place like this is used to disastrous looking customers when you’re based in an airport.

 Ahhhhh.....that was just enough to tide me over until the next meal. Actually, we went for a small snack before the flight and on the menu, under desserts, was “a waffle” as well as Malva pudding, which had become my favourite dessert, so I ordered one as a final fling. Well, she said: “Sorry, we’re out”. Awwwww. So I ordered the halloumi salad. And she said “we’re out.” Well dammit. I had seen “a waffle” on almost every menu for the last 3 weeks and each time the waffle was a tiny, round waffle with a bit of butter and icing sugar...”perfect” I thought, “I’ll try one.” Of course this is the one time that it was actually a plate full of waffle.

And the sad/funny part is, as I’m halfway done the waffle, doesn't she present me with this, with a grand flourish. We all just looked at each other and started to laugh. I ate the cheese and paid the bill. It was a ridiculous amount of Euros, but what the hell, it makes for a good story.

Then we got on the plane for the almost final leg, 8 hours to Calgary. One would think that after three weeks on the other side of the world with no issues, that arriving in Calgary would be the simplest part, but it was a royal clusterfuck. More on that in the next post.

(Temporary Backup) South Africa #47

Up at 4:30 and on our way to Kruger! The lodge dining hall doesn't open that early so they supplied us with a box breakfast, but it was big enough for both breakfast and lunch. I was ridiculously pleased, it was like being a little kid again and looking to see what mom put in your lunch box.

We arrived there by 6:30 and got organized in our open top viewing vehicles. Our group was in two different vehicles with six of us in ours, so everyone had a “window seat”. The vehicle (a Toyota) had three back seats, three across, so we all had a seat between us (like the middle seat of an airplane) to put our water bottles, packs etc. Worked out perfectly...especially when we saw others drive by, scrunched in with strangers. Our driver’s name was Elvis. 

He gave us the lowdown of all the rules, basically all common sense; don’t yell and holler when you see something, never get out of the vehicle, no littering, let everyone have a chance to take a picture etc. Some animals are guaranteed to be seen....the impala, warthogs, all the “boks” (ie) springbok, gemsbok, blesbok, steenbok and so forth, but others are hit & miss. Kruger is not a zoo and is massive, a bit bigger than half the size of Switzerland, so you can imagine trying to find one specific animal in an area that big (2,000,000 hectares, more or less.) 

Right off the bat we saw elephants and zebras, which we had seen a lot of already, but I never tire of them. Elephants are just massive and silent and a bit intimidating,and zebras are just whimsical. We also, finally saw giraffes up close. They are amazing and how they don’t tip right over is beyond me. They look like they are walking carefully so that they don’t lose their balance. The names of the animals by my pictures are the proper names...not things that I’ve  made up.

A “tower”of giraffes (how awesomely appropriate!)

A “dazzle” of zebras. I love that!



A “parade” of elephants.

I was hoping to see hyenas, I find them creepy and intriguing, and while we didn’t see laughing adults, we did see a “cackle” of babies.

A “congress” of baboons, and I laugh out loud every time I look at this picture because I’m pretty sure the larger fellow up top is sitting there reading a book! 

A “gang” of Cape Buffalo, also called an “obstinacy”.

A “confusion” of guinea fowl.

A “leap” of leopards. It’s fairly hard to see a leopard, they are incredibly elusive. It was pretty amazing to see this one, she had a dead impala at the bottom of the tree and we were hoping to see her haul it up the tree and have some lunch, but she just glared at us.

Aaaannnd a “pride” of lions. They were on the other side of a narrow river, and while they weren’t Really close, they were still easy to watch. The females were walking around, either just back from hunting or getting ready to go, while the big old male just relaxed under a tree.

The weather was perfect for the drive, not super hot, and no mosquitoes at all. I had decided to not take malaria meds, so the lack of the mosquitos made me happy. 

I will post these pictures and then finish up the day in the next entry.

South Africa #46

Oh.....we are are on our way to our final stop, which is the Aan de Vliet Lodge in Hazyview, another beautiful spot. When we arrived we all hardly even checked out our rooms before jumping in the pool. There were two pools, a shallower “soaker” pool and the large one that everyone ended up in. I think this is the first time that everyone was at the pool at the same time. It was just so hot. We have been incredibly lucky with crowds at hotels, meaning that there haven't been any at all. Pools, restaurants, bars, seating areas and so forth have all been virtually empty. Traveling during the shoulder season is the best. Weather is still good, crowds are at a minimum and children are elsewhere and the rainy season hasn’t quite started. 

After a cooling soak, I checked out my room. It’s awesome, but very strange. There is a small table with a couple of chairs directly inside the front door, and then, just beyond that is the kitchen with no table, but 2 really high beds on cement pedestals. Very odd, but excellent for putting my suitcase on for re-packing. Then there was a huge bathroom and a whole separate bedroom. (Almost all the doors are the half-barn door style....excellent for forgetting and banging your hip bones on. I have bruises in places where I’ve never had a bruise before.)

The rooms are individual little round buildings. This is the 3rd or 4th place like this, I just love them! It’s very Hobbit-ish, especially with the thatched roofs.



Dinner was a buffet style again, and it was almost as if it was set up for a wedding, very elegant. 

The only thing about dining al fresco is the unexpected dinner guests. He (she? It?) was about 3 inches long. Not sure what it is, but it seemed harmless. 

Early to bed tonight as we are leaving for Kruger at 4:30 AM, to beat the heat. Lots of croaking frogs here, we are near the river (with more “Beware of Hippo” warnings). I keep seeing giant frogs outside my door, I’m not sure if they want in or not, but they are so big that they sort of make me nervous. One of the women had one in her shower. Yikes! 

South Africa #45

Back at the lodge we had a buffet breakfast and gathered up our belongings and hit the road. It was already hot, hot, hot. 

Our first stop was a combination pee-break/photo op/leg stretch. The scenery is so beautiful, but it was too hot to sit outside, seriously. I think it was 36C that morning, long before noon. I figured this was the perfect time to buy some Swaziland hot sauce.

This was a strange little place, it was like a mini-mall in the middle of nowhere. The shops weren’t market/bazaar/craft style, they were more of a high class and expensive type; lots of jewellery, clothing, household items like tablecloths and wall-hangings. Nothing was cheap. Yet right beside these stores was a shop where they manufactured jerseys for sports teams on ancient sewing machines.

Good-bye Swaziland aka eSwatini, land of contrasts. Some of the areas we drove through had incredibly beautiful golf courses and casinos and developed-world-style malls. Huge office buildings manned by Chinese and US companies are being built everywhere you look, yet over 60% of the people live far below the poverty line. The king has multiple wives and each of them live in their own massive home in a gated area, yet the death rate from HIV/AIDS is getting higher every year partially due to polygamy. (it’s expected to go as low as 37 yrs old for men within the next 15 years at the rate it’s plummeting to right now). A country both magical and terrifying.

South Africa #44

Ok. I get it. Hippos and crocs can be dangerous. 🦛 🐊