Oh yeah, I'm totes the Phrase & Slang Nazi.

"I love you to the moon and back." I dislike that expression almost as much as I dislike it when people call their pets their "fur-babies". 

It seems to me that people can't use their own minds anymore, to say what they mean. Both in a politically correct manner as well as in a descriptive manner. There are more and more expressions and phrases that I hear day in and day out that drive me crazy.

I understand that language evolves, and that new words are added to any live language quite frequently. I get that we don't speak a dead language like Latin anymore (est enfelix) and I know that young folks need to have their own lexicon...it's part of being young. As well as the fact that humans are social animals who like to imitate each other...."if that person, whom I admire so much, says/does/eats/talks that way, then if I  do it too, well then, I'll be as wonderful and admired as I think they are! And as cool, and trendy and with-it."

But, there is a limit to what I can handle, and luckily I have this platform where I can voice my feelings.

So here are 25 phrases and words that I heartily dislike.

1. My bad. Your bad what? Your bad kid? Your bad back? What? Finish your sentence.

2. No offense, but.... It's as if people think they get a free pass for being offensive if they begin their comment with those three words.  

3.It is what it is. Yes, I know that. You don't have to tell me. If that's indeed what it is, then don't be redundant. 

4.Don't go there...Don't go where? If there's something you don't want to discuss, then tell me what it is. And you'd better not be giving me the "hand flap" while you say it. Double annoyance.

5.His head literally exploded. Or any use of the word "literally" used in the wrong way. I might literally spit in your eye if I hear you use it incorrectly. Which brings me to:

6. Irregardless. Just look it up.

7.I just threw-up a little in my mouth. That might have been funny and a bit shocking when Monica said it in "Friends" fifteen years ago, but it's just annoying now. And speaking of....

8.I just peed a little. See above.

9.Put on your big girl/big boy panties/undies. I find that condescending.

10. Baby Daddy. You're not from an inner city ghetto. Don't talk like it. 

11. Push Present. As in a gift from your partner for having a baby. "Look at the fantastic ring my husband got me as a push present for birthing this baby." Every time I hear someone say that I throw up a little in my mouth.

12. Awwwwkward. Said in that long drawn out tone. You sound like an idiot.

13. Years young. As in "Myrtle is 79 years young." It's not cute. What's more, it's not true. She is 79 years old. And what's even more....she knows that. You don't hear kids saying "Hey, I'm 10 years young today" 

14. Really? Really? Said twice, eyes large, in combination of sarcasm and disbelief, said when things are really quite believable, as in a poor play in a sports game and a fan will turn to strangers and say "Really? Really?"  That goes hand in hand with:

15. Seriously? Are you kidding me right now? I always want to say "No, I'm not kidding you right now. I'll be kidding you later, and I've kidded you before, but right now? Not at all"

16.Totes. Adorbs. Delish. Peeps. Obvi. Ridic. Convo. Vacay. I'm curious as to what youre going to do with all the time you save by not finishing your words. Either that, or are you two years old and haven't learned the correct pronounciation yet? Try talking to your boss this way. "Hey, I think it's obvi that I totes need a vaycay." Or your Doctor. "Hey, my peeps told me I  should have a convo with you about this ridic mole. Personally, I find it totes adorbs." "Whaaaaat? It's cancer? Seriously, are you kidding me right now?" 

17. Cray-cray. Almost goes with #16, but it's so annoying that it needs a number of its own.

18. First world problems. I've written about this particular phrase before. Search for it.

19.Nuff said. Enough said.

20.Passed. As in "Mr. Single suddenly passed". Passed what? Passed a test? Passed gas? Passed a kidney stone? Passed me on the street?  Oh...he died? Ooh. Aaaaaakward.

21.Of. Well, this is more of a grammatical error, and I shouldn't judge, but I do. I hate when people say things like "I might of watched too much TV" Excuse me, you might have watched too much TV. It's not "I might of bought the wrong size." You might have bought the wrong size.

22. Hash tags. I can't even discuss them. The worst is #yolo. Yolo is bad enough, but with a hashtag in front...well, I could totes slap you.

23.Much.  Used in asking a question, in a snarky manner. "Jealous much?" ("Snarky" Yikes, I'll bet there are people out there who hate that word)

24. Blessed. Well, this is a tough one because some folks really believe that they are blessed. I don't like the thought that your god blesses some folks and not others. I'm not going to discuss my lack of belief here, but everyone sure seems to feel blessed these days....it's one of the most overused and cliched expressions out there...so tell me why you think you're blessed and not all the others...,you know who I mean...the poor, the sick, the impoverished and on and on and on.  If you've moved into a new home, or have a lovely family sitting around your dinner table....why do you feel the need to tell us that you think your god has blessed you with that whilst he has forsaken others? 

25. Any and all New Age-y touchy feely stuff. 

However....there are words that are overused that I like, and probably overuse myself. Three of my particular favorites are:

1. Amazeballs. For some reason that word amuses me to no end.

2. Adorable. Its just such an adorable word, it conjures up cuddly and sweet and cozy and warm. 

3. "I'm not a fan of...."(insert word of choice, like cailiflower or The Vancouver Canucks)

Apparently people really dont like that phrase, and I don't understand why.   I think not being a fan of something is a nice, gentle way to explain why you hate/dislike cauliflower. Or the Vancouver Canucks.

I'm going to add awesome to my list because I do use it a lot, but I try to use it in the Webster's Dictionary kind of way: inspiring, an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, awe or fear. I can't say I always use it correctly, the other day I called the garbage man awesome because he backed his truck up so that I didn't have to walk down the street to meet him.  Machu Picchu was awesome, the city garbage truck...not so much. 

I tried to find out what new words and phrases are upcoming so that I could use them first.  These four seem to be becoming popular. 

1.Buttcrutch. Chair or any place to sit. "Grab a Buttcrutch and let's chat."

2. Squee. An expression of joy. I hate it already. " OMG, The new Housewives of Whatever City starts this week, squeeeee!"

3. Jumpy-claps. An even bigger expression of joy. "OMG. The new Housewives of Whatever City starts this week, squee.....jumpy-claps!!!"

4. Omnishambles. Ok, I'll admit I love this one. When a series of disasters happens. "We went on our vacation....everything went wrong, it was an omnishambles."  

So now that I've made myself sound pretentious, I'll let you decide what words and phrases you want to use. The most important thing this, use the words that you enjoy and that make you happy. Just remember, the pen really can be mightier than the sword, so use your words with care.

So, if you  want to use tired old phrases....you go right ahead. Just, please, don't use them simply because everyone else does...just because a Kardashian or a Jayzee or a Beyonce or (insert any rap artist/reality star) does...doesn't mean you should. (Unless its  Angelina Jolie. She can do no wrong. Excuse me? I said no wrong.) 

As for me, imma start using words from the 20's and 30's.  And if you don't like it, well, don't cast a kitten, just use your getaway sticks and skedaddle.

Calgary Getaway.

We had to go to Calgary in January...the dreaded month for travel. You just never know what Mother Nature is going to spring upon you, and I was pretty nervous before we left, especially since we seemed to be having much more snow than usual. I packed extra mitts, touques, scarves and sweaters. A cooler with water, Gatorade, peanut butter sandwiches, chocolate and fruit. Blankets. Pillows. A lighter to start a fire. Books. A journal. After all, we were going through Banff....a person could skitter right over a cliff and not be found until spring. It could happen. And if I should go over, I'm determined to still be there when the snow melts. Alive, that is.

Weather was great and we got there in the usual amount of time. But it never hurts to be prepared.

Gas was amazingly cheap in the city. It was $1.06 a liter when we left home, but in Calgary it was this:

The next day, the same gas station had it at 76.9. I didn't think I'd ever see gas less than $1.00 a liter in my my lifetime, never mind this much less than a buck. We happily filled the tank.

We got to our hotel, and settled in.  Steven was there for a test that required fasting, so we couldn't go for dinner. My peanut butter emergency ration sandwich and snacks came in handy after all, she said smugly. Plus, the weather had decided to turn around and snow...and snow and snow some more. We had travelled at a perfect time to miss the downfall. And it was ok because it was the evening of the WORLD JUNIOR GOLD MEDAL HOCKEY GAME!!! As IF we would be going anywhere else but in front of a TV. Canada vs Russia...once again, a bitter rivalry. For my US and Aussie friends who are reading this, Canada won. After, it is our game. We  sent the American team home last week, and that's another bitter rivalry. There are no friends in hockey. 

Any TV is ok in a pinch, but we recorded it at home so Steven could rewatch in crispy-clear detail.

So, he had his test Tuesday and we went for a light dinner since he had to fast again the next day for another test, and was only supposed to eat light. But after that days test, he was allowed to eat normally again. We planned all day on where to go. 

We stumbled across a little hole-in-the-wall rib joint that smelled sooooo good. It only had about 12 small tables and a tiny bar that had about 6 barstools around it. Some sort of zydeco music was playing, and if I wasn't standing in a foot of snow in -21 degree weather, I'd have though I was in New Orleans.

Who can resist slow roasted ribs? Not Steven. So we stepped inside....I knew right away it was my kinda place, clean but worn tablecloths, wooden floors, warm and cozy, a blues-y feel.

So, I didn't order ribs (I know, I know) but Steven did. 

I have to tell a back story for a second:

Last week we were watching Family Feud and one of the questions was "Name a food that is shaped like a ball." One of the answers was "hush-puppies", and Steven asked me what they were. I told him, and it occurred to me that I'd never had a hush-puppy, and I felt a bit sad. 

Then, a day later, I was watching a movie "Beasts of the Southern Wild" and the main character, a little girl, was  named Hush Puppy.

So, then, when I saw "smoked chicken breast and hush-puppies" on the menu....well, it was a no-brainer.

And, ohhhhh....so good. The baked beans were homemade, with molasses and bacon, the coleslaw had the celery seed/mustard/ vinaigrette dressing, the "real" kind, not that mayonnaise slop that is every where these days. This stuff was like the kind that Stevens dad used to make. The chicken was tender and moist inside, sticky and smokey on the outside. And I think the maple syrup for the hush-puppies was the real stuff. It was one of the better meals I've had in a long time.

The place filled up in no time and there was a line of people waiting to get in. I figured we should hurry and let our table go to some other starving soul so I decided to have a slice of bourbon pecan pie instead.

Our server brought two spoons and extra ice cream. All I can say is...mmmmmm.

Our waitress told us that everything, including the sauces, breads and beans are all homemade from scratch, and the meats are all slow roasted (there was brisket and beef ribs too). So if you have eaten here and happen to know that it all comes from Costco....don't tell me, and I won't believe you anyhow. Let me live in my foodie-fantasy world.

Next day we headed home. The weather was gorgeous for traveling, leaving the city looked like this:

Driving through Banff and area looked like this:

But at the summit of the park, and into Radium, the radio was playing "a hazy shade of winter", which was appropriate as the weather turned to this:

We pretty much were alone on the highway, so we could travel at a speed comfortable to us, and soon we spotted our good old Canadian standby, pulled in and had this:

 

We filled up with Timmy's classic soup, coffee and maple Danish, headed home, and that was that. You take your holiday when you can, and make the best of any situation.  Happy New Year!