Thanksgiving.

Every year about this time the same question arises. "What's the difference between Canadian Thanksgiving and the American one?"

I guess the main thing is the date. The Americans celebrate in November, and give thanks to the pilgrims who arrived in the 1600's and blew up a pig bladder and tossed it around while they waited for the women to try and stuff a turkey. They must have, why else would football and the Thanksgiving turkey dinner be so synonymous in the US?

Here in Canada, Thanksgiving takes place the second Monday in October. We all exchange the secret NHL handshake to celebrate the upcoming hockey season. And there is no mention of pilgrims.

The Americans have the famous Macy's Day Parade, complete with huge balloon creatures that collapse on unwary revellers, in turn sending them to the litigious lawyers, who are, of course, giving Thanks for this parade.

Canadians give a secret NHL handshake and rush off to Canadian Tire to see what's new in this years line of snow blowers, then head to Timmie's for some Timbits.

Americans travel from wherever they are, to be home for this feast. They sleep in airports, they stress for weeks about getting time off to go home, they hitch rides with complete strangers just so they can burst through the front door just as Father is sadly bemoaning the fact that one seat shall remain empty (I know this to be true, I see it on Hallmark Hall of Fame specials every year)

Canadians rejoice in the fact that it's a three day weekend and give a secret NHL handshake as they watch the final pre-season games. Some will even cheer "Go Leafs Go!", a sad and futile hope, but they hope nonetheless.

Americans have their turkey dinner on the Monday. I think it might be the law. There seems to be quite a frenzy of shopping and preparing and deciding if they should make Grandma's Traditional Stuffing or Aunt Ethel's Cranberry-Chestnut Stuffing or sometimes they even make an Oyster Stuffing! It's true!

There's no specific day in Canada to eat, any of the three days are equally as acceptable to have your turkey. And actually, a lot of people have ham. I think that might be punishable with jail time in the US. And by the way, it is stuffing, not dressing. You don't "dress" the turkey, you "stuff" it. And not with cornbread either.

And our Prime Minister doesn't "pardon" a turkey. Seriously, what the hell is that all about? "Ummm...ok, let's all get together and watch the President pardon a turkey, then we'll all go home and eat the other slaughtered ones." How does that even fit in with a holiday in which you eat turkey??

But, we all give thanks. And I give thanks (even though it's too early for Thanksgiving, even for a Canadian) that I live in a country where I can make fun of another country (and it's all tongue in cheek) and I don't have to worry about being tossed in prison over it. Oh Canada.