To sleep, perchance to dream....

I don't read self help books. Maybe I should, but that's a whole different blog. I do, however, read excerpts from them in magazines, and one thing that I have always thought was a great idea was to have a pen and some paper right beside your bed so that you can jot things down in the middle of the night. They say, these self help people, that you can solve many problems this way, your inner self, during that deep REM sleep, gives you answers to your troubles. Pshaw, I don't believe that, because in my REM sleep, I am pretty sure that I have been solving all sort of world crisis's. Really. Pretty darn sure. I wake up, simply astounded at how simple it is to solve various world problems, from truly serious ones like famine to other less serious (but equally important) ones like how to make a better plastic bag that doesn't cut the circulation off in your wrist when you carry 2 or 3 at a time so that when you get across the parking lot to your vehicle, your fingers aren't curled up like a claw, and all numb. The thing is, when I wake up with these solutions, I repeat them to myself and I am always so sure that I'll remember them in the morning, that I don't bother to write them down. Of course, when morning arrives, there is nothing left in my brain but some fuzzy memory. So a few weeks ago, I decided "Enough. If I should die tomorrow, the world will have lost a plethora of simply fascinating information, all because I am too forgetful/lazy to grab a pen and paper and put them beside my bed." So I did. I gathered a nice pen, some pretty paper and set them on my nighttable. Each night as I woke up, breathless with my discoveries, I'd write them down and fall back asleep, secure in the knowledge that the worlds troubles will soon be gone. Or at least made easier.

Would you like to know the secrets of the Universe? The things that appear in my mind in the middle of the night, information from the Dream Gods?

This is what was written, one thing each night for 10 days.

1. Time Management. Save several valuable seconds. Can't miss, but did.

2. Life Insurance, fiancial planning and order a PPV movie.

3. If I were Prime Minister...Mother Nature vs Mother Earth.

4. Conversation of the old style, no rolling eyeballs.

5. Personal affront about recomending a good book. We don't read the same.

6. Why do you never see real hippies anymore?

7. I feel totally confident of my ability to shape destiny.

8. It's all about the tigers.

9. Change the light, not just the bulb.

10. If it's in the soup, it's ok for everyone.

So. There you go. Problem solved. Or not. Number 7 makes me think I might have a touch of megalomania, and number 9 is kind of Buddhist. As soon as I figure it all out, I'll let you know. I'm sure my dreams will show me the way.