Oh yeah, I'm totes the Phrase & Slang Nazi.

"I love you to the moon and back." I dislike that expression almost as much as I dislike it when people call their pets their "fur-babies". 

It seems to me that people can't use their own minds anymore, to say what they mean. Both in a politically correct manner as well as in a descriptive manner. There are more and more expressions and phrases that I hear day in and day out that drive me crazy.

I understand that language evolves, and that new words are added to any live language quite frequently. I get that we don't speak a dead language like Latin anymore (est enfelix) and I know that young folks need to have their own lexicon...it's part of being young. As well as the fact that humans are social animals who like to imitate each other...."if that person, whom I admire so much, says/does/eats/talks that way, then if I  do it too, well then, I'll be as wonderful and admired as I think they are! And as cool, and trendy and with-it."

But, there is a limit to what I can handle, and luckily I have this platform where I can voice my feelings.

So here are 25 phrases and words that I heartily dislike.

1. My bad. Your bad what? Your bad kid? Your bad back? What? Finish your sentence.

2. No offense, but.... It's as if people think they get a free pass for being offensive if they begin their comment with those three words.  

3.It is what it is. Yes, I know that. You don't have to tell me. If that's indeed what it is, then don't be redundant. 

4.Don't go there...Don't go where? If there's something you don't want to discuss, then tell me what it is. And you'd better not be giving me the "hand flap" while you say it. Double annoyance.

5.His head literally exploded. Or any use of the word "literally" used in the wrong way. I might literally spit in your eye if I hear you use it incorrectly. Which brings me to:

6. Irregardless. Just look it up.

7.I just threw-up a little in my mouth. That might have been funny and a bit shocking when Monica said it in "Friends" fifteen years ago, but it's just annoying now. And speaking of....

8.I just peed a little. See above.

9.Put on your big girl/big boy panties/undies. I find that condescending.

10. Baby Daddy. You're not from an inner city ghetto. Don't talk like it. 

11. Push Present. As in a gift from your partner for having a baby. "Look at the fantastic ring my husband got me as a push present for birthing this baby." Every time I hear someone say that I throw up a little in my mouth.

12. Awwwwkward. Said in that long drawn out tone. You sound like an idiot.

13. Years young. As in "Myrtle is 79 years young." It's not cute. What's more, it's not true. She is 79 years old. And what's even more....she knows that. You don't hear kids saying "Hey, I'm 10 years young today" 

14. Really? Really? Said twice, eyes large, in combination of sarcasm and disbelief, said when things are really quite believable, as in a poor play in a sports game and a fan will turn to strangers and say "Really? Really?"  That goes hand in hand with:

15. Seriously? Are you kidding me right now? I always want to say "No, I'm not kidding you right now. I'll be kidding you later, and I've kidded you before, but right now? Not at all"

16.Totes. Adorbs. Delish. Peeps. Obvi. Ridic. Convo. Vacay. I'm curious as to what youre going to do with all the time you save by not finishing your words. Either that, or are you two years old and haven't learned the correct pronounciation yet? Try talking to your boss this way. "Hey, I think it's obvi that I totes need a vaycay." Or your Doctor. "Hey, my peeps told me I  should have a convo with you about this ridic mole. Personally, I find it totes adorbs." "Whaaaaat? It's cancer? Seriously, are you kidding me right now?" 

17. Cray-cray. Almost goes with #16, but it's so annoying that it needs a number of its own.

18. First world problems. I've written about this particular phrase before. Search for it.

19.Nuff said. Enough said.

20.Passed. As in "Mr. Single suddenly passed". Passed what? Passed a test? Passed gas? Passed a kidney stone? Passed me on the street?  Oh...he died? Ooh. Aaaaaakward.

21.Of. Well, this is more of a grammatical error, and I shouldn't judge, but I do. I hate when people say things like "I might of watched too much TV" Excuse me, you might have watched too much TV. It's not "I might of bought the wrong size." You might have bought the wrong size.

22. Hash tags. I can't even discuss them. The worst is #yolo. Yolo is bad enough, but with a hashtag in front...well, I could totes slap you.

23.Much.  Used in asking a question, in a snarky manner. "Jealous much?" ("Snarky" Yikes, I'll bet there are people out there who hate that word)

24. Blessed. Well, this is a tough one because some folks really believe that they are blessed. I don't like the thought that your god blesses some folks and not others. I'm not going to discuss my lack of belief here, but everyone sure seems to feel blessed these days....it's one of the most overused and cliched expressions out there...so tell me why you think you're blessed and not all the others...,you know who I mean...the poor, the sick, the impoverished and on and on and on.  If you've moved into a new home, or have a lovely family sitting around your dinner table....why do you feel the need to tell us that you think your god has blessed you with that whilst he has forsaken others? 

25. Any and all New Age-y touchy feely stuff. 

However....there are words that are overused that I like, and probably overuse myself. Three of my particular favorites are:

1. Amazeballs. For some reason that word amuses me to no end.

2. Adorable. Its just such an adorable word, it conjures up cuddly and sweet and cozy and warm. 

3. "I'm not a fan of...."(insert word of choice, like cailiflower or The Vancouver Canucks)

Apparently people really dont like that phrase, and I don't understand why.   I think not being a fan of something is a nice, gentle way to explain why you hate/dislike cauliflower. Or the Vancouver Canucks.

I'm going to add awesome to my list because I do use it a lot, but I try to use it in the Webster's Dictionary kind of way: inspiring, an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, awe or fear. I can't say I always use it correctly, the other day I called the garbage man awesome because he backed his truck up so that I didn't have to walk down the street to meet him.  Machu Picchu was awesome, the city garbage truck...not so much. 

I tried to find out what new words and phrases are upcoming so that I could use them first.  These four seem to be becoming popular. 

1.Buttcrutch. Chair or any place to sit. "Grab a Buttcrutch and let's chat."

2. Squee. An expression of joy. I hate it already. " OMG, The new Housewives of Whatever City starts this week, squeeeee!"

3. Jumpy-claps. An even bigger expression of joy. "OMG. The new Housewives of Whatever City starts this week, squee.....jumpy-claps!!!"

4. Omnishambles. Ok, I'll admit I love this one. When a series of disasters happens. "We went on our vacation....everything went wrong, it was an omnishambles."  

So now that I've made myself sound pretentious, I'll let you decide what words and phrases you want to use. The most important thing this, use the words that you enjoy and that make you happy. Just remember, the pen really can be mightier than the sword, so use your words with care.

So, if you  want to use tired old phrases....you go right ahead. Just, please, don't use them simply because everyone else does...just because a Kardashian or a Jayzee or a Beyonce or (insert any rap artist/reality star) does...doesn't mean you should. (Unless its  Angelina Jolie. She can do no wrong. Excuse me? I said no wrong.) 

As for me, imma start using words from the 20's and 30's.  And if you don't like it, well, don't cast a kitten, just use your getaway sticks and skedaddle.