"A" is for Apprehensive and also for Advil....and Alcohol.

I don't like to fly. It's not been scientifically proven that a plane can fly. Wait....what? It has been? Well, not to my satisfaction it hasn't been. I am pretty sure that the planes I am on stay in the air simply because I concentrate and mutter "wingardium leviosa, wingardium leviosa" over and over. (Google it....you'll see...) That, and the firm hold that my clenching fingers have on the armrests, clenching and pulling upwards at the same time. The combination of those two things keeps my planes in the air. And it only has to be done for 7 minutes. Almost all crashes take place within the first 7 minutes of a flight, or the last 7, as you land. I can handle 14 minutes of spell casting and arm clenching for the good of all four or five hundred passengers.

I never, ever drink while on a plane, it dehydrates you and makes adjusting to a new time zone tougher, and besides, I'm not much of a drinker. I like a glass of wine in a nice atmosphere and a crowded, generally smelly, usually noisy, often bumpy plane just doesn't cut it for me. Plus, what if I get drunk and turn into one of those people that pee in the aisle? So I take a few Advil, the nighttime ones that relax you a bit, and save the alcohol for an enjoyable drink with dinner.

So if you look up into the sky this Friday and Saturday, and see a plane up there, winging its way south, send me a good vibe and say a gentle "wingardium leviosa" as we pass overhead.