We interrupt this fishing story for a news flash.

I complain so much that I sometimes embarrass my own self. So I need to tell a positive story...not only that, but it's a positive TELUS story, and if that ain't enough to knock your socks off, it's a positive Telus OUTSOURCE story. Yes!

So, remember a week or so ago when Telus accidentally did something to our phone lines and none of the various departments would admit it was them? And I had no phone and Internet for days? And I finally got it fixed, but it was a horrendous  experience? And I complained loudly and endlessly to anyone who would listen? Well, this concerns that.

I decided to watch a Netflix movie the other night and when I tried to access Netflix from our new smart TV with the magic remote (ok...I know I don't do technology well, and yes, I believe that  TV and cell phones are genuine magic, along with Skype and microwave ovens, but this remote is really a magic remote)

Anyhow, the smart TV just kept telling me that there was no connection. I checked my phones again...working. I checked my computer and my iPad....working. Hmmmm. I don't get it. I tried turning things off and on, and I even tried getting Netflix on the iPad, and it worked, and I have to backtrack a minute here: When we first got the smart TV and the fellow set up Netflix, I was so pleased at finally being able to watch movies on the TV as opposed to just using the iPad, and when I later looked at Netflix on my iPad, I saw that a button had appeared that said "Watch on LG TV"! Whaaaaaat?  The wireless airwaves had discovered all by themselves to hook up with each other and tell me via new buttons appearing.  I can be watching a movie on the ipad and if i click on that button, the movie appears on the TV. And people say it isn't magic.....come on. People call this magic "synching", but I have no more room in my brain for new technological terms. Magic it is.

Anyhow, the magic wasn't there today. No button on my iPad and no Netflix on my smart TV. 

I phoned Telus and explained about the issue we had had the prior week, and that The Guy had forgotten to fix my TV. The fellow I was talking to said that The Guy doesn't set up the TV, that The TV Guy From The Store does that.  "But no," I said "He did that already. And then you guys lost my signals and The Guy came and fixed the computer and the phone, and now I need him to come back and fix my TV. My TV says there is no connection, so you need to send The Guy to connect me. Please." 

I think I heard rolling of eyes, all the way from India:

but he explained to me that somewhere in the TV menu there was a place to reconnect the wifi. And, he said, just go Settings  and do it. I sadly whined that I didn't know where anything was. He kindly talked me through all sorts of menus (I hate a TV that is smarter than me.) and eventually we found the place that said "Network Connections" It was like a gift from the TV gods! The network name was there, but it asked me my password. Once again I need to go back to last week.

When The Guy fixed stuff, he also gave us a new modem, and a new network name and password. The Guy read the password to me as I typed it into my iPad, and it was 4 or 5 hundred numbers long, along with a few dozen letters. I asked him if I could change the password to something easier, like "3" and he basically said there was no need, once I was set up I'd never need to enter it again, it was stuck there. (He didn't actually say "stuck there", but I know that's what he meant. I'm starting to catch on to the lingo.) He said that if someone  came over with their device, they'd need that password, so he gave me a card with it written on and said that if I lost the card, it was also on a sticker on the modem.

So, back to my India fellow. I told him that I didn't know the password, but I knew where it was, so I ran downstairs to grab the card, and it was gone. Faaaak. Where did I put it? I quickly flung things around and it wasn't there. It wasnt anywhere. I ran back up stairs to apologize to him, and told him I'd find it later, and finish the chore myself. He kindly told me he'd wait, and to take my time.

"Oh!" I cried with happy memory, "Oh! It's on the modem too, hang on, I'll grab a pencil and  paper and run back down." 

"No rush" he said.

I ran down, looked at the modem and of course it was printed in tiny letters that only the very young and eagles could see.

I ran back up and explained that I needed a magnifying glass and I'd be right back.

"Take your time" he said.

I ran back down, and even with the magnifying glass the letters were hard to read "Is that a b or a 6? Is that a f or an 8? Curses to my faulty eye genes!" 

When I figured that I had it correct, I ran back upstairs and breathlessly announced that I was ready to type in the number.

Ahmad was as excited as I was. We were pretty good friends by this point.

I typed the numbers in, all 400 of them and hit the "enter" button. Except I hit the wrong one. So I tried it again...and in my haste, I hit the wrong enter button again! The cursor was delicate and moved to random numbers with the slightest movement of my hands. It's was like doing surgery.

I think I may have done this once or twice more until Ahmad gently explained that maybe I was hitting the enter button on the magic remote and not the enter button on the TV screen? We laughed gaily at my silliness. 

So we tried once more, Ahmed and I, and glory be....the Netflix logo appeared!

"Hooray!" I cried "We did it! Thank God...or, thank Hephaestus, who is the closest thing in Greco-roman mythology to a god of technology." (You ain't got nuthin' on me, Smart TV.)

"Caloo-Calay!" cried Ahmed. "Thanks be to Rudra, who is the closest we have to a god of technology, and also is the god of  the Destroyer of Creation (which this technology is causing, I think, and so does Ahmed. We are like two peas in a pod, Ahmed and me. Or like two threads of saffron in a crocus flower.

So we discussed "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"and "The 100 Foot Journey." and made plans to exchange curry recipes.

Who'd ever complain about Telus and outsourcing? Not me!