South Africa #49

We finally arrived in Calgary.  Now, earlier, waaay earlier back in Johannesburg when we checked in, we asked where we were to get our luggage; Calgary? (point of entry into Canada) or Cranbrook? (which of course was our final destination.) Half of us were told Calgary, because we’d have to clear customs and immigration there, which makes perfect sense, but the other half of us were specifically told that our luggage would be sent all the way to our final stop, which was Cranbrook, and that “No” we did not have to get it in Calgary. Which seemed odd, because,  customs?

All of us were given luggage claims which had “Cranbrook” on them. And none of us really cared at this point. It would all work out. 

So we arrived in Calgary and had to go to the automated machines to do our declarations. These are so much easier than trying to fill out those god awful forms that they used to give you on the plane, where you could never find a pen, and then always “ticked” the wrong box, and the flight attendant had no more forms, and turbulence made everything illegible, I’m surprised more people didn't up being arrested at the gates. Except some of the forms kept coming out totally blank. So that took forever to get straightened out.

Anyhow, these ones are so simple to fill out, and I checked off a “yes” to the question about “meat, seeds, nuts and coffee”. And got in line. And this is where it all went sideways.

As I waited for my turn to show my passport and customs form to the guard, an employee looked at our forms and sent us in various directions. Some went right through, some went left and vanished somewhere, and some went right and vanished in a different hallway or room. Some of us waited in line. No one, including the employee, seemed to know what was going on. Some of us were told to go to baggage and get our suitcases, and some were told (in a snotty manner, that “your claim check says Cranbrook, so you pick it up in Cranbrook) Everyone of us seemed to be wandering around in a different area. We had tried to explain that we were all catching the same plane to the same city, but that didn't seem to matter. We were scattered to the wind.

Finally it was my turn, and the guard asked me why I had checked “yes” and I told him I had coffee and some jerky. He asked what kind of jerky and I told him “Ostrich.” He looked confused and started looking it up, and I think it took him at least 10 minutes, and he eventually said I couldn’t bring it in. Ugh. So I started scrabbling through my carry-on, of course now I’m sweaty and annoyed and trying to hurry because the line-up behind me is getting longer and impatient. When I finally hauled it triumphantly out, it wasn’t ostrich at all, it was gemsbok. So now he had to look that up, and of course I couldn’t bring that through either, so I tossed it in the garbage. Dammit. He asked if I did indeed have ostrich as well, and I said “No”, even though I was pretty darned sure I did. He asked if I had any other jerky in my checked luggage and I said “No” even though I was pretty darned sure I did. He waved me though, and as I was walking in the direction that at least some of my people had gone, a different woman hollered and told me to “go this way”, so I did, opening a set of doors and going though, but only after I asked her if this was the way to the departure area and she said yes.

As soon as the doors shut, and I saw absolutely no one, and a single lone elevator, I was pretty sure I was in the wrong area. I turned right around, went back in and asked if I could go the other way since  this didn't seem right. She said “Nope” because by now I have left the secure area and wasn’t allowed back in. Well, fuck me. 

So I went back to the elevator and took it up to the only other floor that it went to and I was apparently transported to some unknown area of the airport because the sign said it was a 9 minute walk to the terminal I wanted. Not even the gate, but just the terminal. So I walked and walked and walked and eventually came to an area where I saw one of the airport Helpers, who told me that my departure gate was still about a 10 minute walk, but the baggage area was “right through that door” and since that was where I was supposed to meet up with my travel peeps, I started to go through, but I had a flash of genius and asked her if I’d have to go all the way back through security to get to my gate if I went through this door to the baggage. And she said “yes”. Ugh. That was not gonna happen. So I trudged towards my gate, disheveled and annoyed, hoping that my luggage would turn up in Cranbrook. (I had decided to check my small carry-on so that I wouldn’t have to haul it around all three airports...J-burg, Amsterdam and Calgary.) I figured the rest of my group would find their way to the terminal on their own.

I eventually saw my gate and some familiar faces! They had all had “adventures” of their own. One had to go and actually get their checked suitcase to show a leather skin they had bought, 2 were sent to baggage to get their luggage (with strict instructions to make sure they got it because it was not) going to be sent to Cranbrook (and the luggage didn't show up at the Calgary baggage carousel because it was sent to Cranbrook), two others were sent though a door for no reason and had to go all the way back through security because the employee had sent them out of the secure zone (same as me, but through a different door). Two others were send down a hallway where they ended up outside and had to go back through the Nexus line and one lone person appeared just walking down the hallway, not sure where they had even been. It was a shit show. Every one of us had been told different things by various airport employees. Get your shit together YYC.

Finally, our plane was called and we went to our gate. Which was down a cement hallway with no heat and not nearly enough chairs. WTF? It was like being in a garage. And we waited....the plane was delayed.....and we waited, and it was delayed again.....finally it arrived and we got on ...and waited....and then it was announced that we had to get off because there was a mechanical issue....back into the freezing cement area....waited some more (and remember, none of us had winter jackets with us either) for a new plane. The new plane arrives, but couldn’t “pull in” because another plane was in the way....waited some more and the plane that was in the way left, but our “old” plane was apparently fixed so we got back on it, and by this time I was perfectly ok with flying on a broken plane. We had been up for almost 50 hours and were tired and hungry. But the plane took off, and arrived in Cranbrook safely, along with everyone’s luggage and my own bed never looked so good.